if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
How drunk are you?
Completed.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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