Me too!
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
