How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
