would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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