I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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