using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
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