Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
