Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
