The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
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