I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
