I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
