k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
