I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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