I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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