i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
