I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
