you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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