was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
