Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
