WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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