So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Randomize