i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
