i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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