I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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