the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
