A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize