I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize