I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
