But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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