in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Well I just put wine in my tea
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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