as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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