; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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