i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
