My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
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The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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