At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
