I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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