how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
