Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
