How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
