i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
