Just mADE A PArabola og urine
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize