Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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