It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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