I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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