How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
