How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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