The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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