come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
