It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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