I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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