what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
