hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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