Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
