i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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