you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
It's just like the Real World with babies
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The power of my boobs compel you
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
