Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
