Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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