he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
