Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
