yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
