remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
