Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
