Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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