WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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