he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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