Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
