addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize