We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
