Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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